How to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

How to Reise Emotionally Intelligent Children

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand, use and manage our own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

IQ is still more valued than EQ, although EQ matters just as much, if not more when it comes to happiness and success in life.

How can we help children develop Emotional Intelligence?

We can help children develop emotional intelligence with the following:

  • Verbalise Expressed Emotions
    Example: I see you are angry, or I am happy, or Tim looks very excited…
  • Show Empathy
    Example: I see you are sad, would you like to come in to my lap and talk about it?
  • Model Appropriate Ways to Express Feelings
    The best way to teach children how to express feelings is by modeling these skills yourself.
  • Teach Problem-Solving Skills
    After the feelings have been labelled and addressed, it’s time to work through how to fix the problem itself. Help children to come up with the ideas for solutions themselves. Once they’ve identified at least five possible solutions, help them assess the pros and cons of each one. Then, encourage them to pick the best option.

In the next video Lael Stone, educator and counselor with 16 years of experience, talks about how compassion, empathy, and mindfulness are essential for developing Emotional Intelligence.

She asks the following questions:

How can we expect children to have empathy and compassion for other people if we don’t show them? How can we expect them to treat others with kindness and respect if they don’t know what that feels like?

What it would be like if instead of harsh discipline and punishments we replaced it with compassionate listening, and loving boundaries and we learn to look behind the behavior for there is always a reason behind it? What it would be like if we looked at challenging behavior as a cry for help?

The greatest gift we can give to our children is to hold a safe space for them and accept them for who they are.

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